old school or otherwise

let's talk about how for the first two years we knew each other you told me your name was erin. (you know yahoo! cancelled my account like. a year ago so now i don't have our first first emails anymore, right?)
on another note, i'm not working at the library anymore and i had training for my new job today. being a conversation partner ("language consultant") for international ta's learning english. sort of neat, no? anyway after training there was a reception and some of the ta's came to mingle with the us. one of them, a third year applied economics student from korea, (it's so weird writing in the past tense) tells me that his hobby is working on his website, but that it's also his vice. and even though he's been at cornell for two years he's spent all his free time maintaining his (korean) website and being holed up in his room so this august he made a very important and very life-altering decision, namely, to close down his website and to leave his room and go out and live and talk and meet new people and improve his english and, you know. be human.
(and also. why don't i remember a brian? you had a red-headed one?)

would you be mad if i called this 'a blast from the past'?

Been packing some--I told you I leave Friday?--but mostly just moving from place to place, sitting in the yellow light of the dining room, on the pool deck, in my bed, all quiet, contemplative. Thinking about? Oh, I won't say, or it'll get too bloggy.

I guess we're just going to slowly slowly carve a direction for this, undertaking, Vick?

Just went off to pull something old, try to remember where we came from, or something. Past e-mails starting from 2/2/02, which is nowhere near the beginning, but quite a block of history, nonetheless. First one I opened was this:

Subject: (no subject)
Date: 3/13/02 11:52:13 AM Pacific Standard Time
"in the nearly empty hallways.

brian: [coming up behind me] hey [nudges my elbow, smiles] where're you going?
me: [smiles back] calc
brian: [cocks his head] am i allowed to walk you there?"

Was Brian the redhead one?

we hear 'you can't start a fire without a spark'...

And this is our spark! We're really moving now, Vicki. Fast and spontaneous this entry will be. Or else this little, 'blog,' may sit here (nearly) empty for, well, they tell us it'll never get deleted. Enough! I must say: I do not actually know Vicki. I mean, I know her. But I don't knowknow her. Hm, I've never seen her. Can you, uh, take it from here, e-friend?

jessica, you sound--and this is not a phrase i particularly like and i've quite possibly never actually said it up until--like you are on crack. hm. i don't think i'm very good at being fast and spontaneous, but. yes. have never met. i didn't know we were going to talk about this. we're talking about this? am i supposed to be giving the details? i haven't given this website out to anyone, you know.

huh, i guess i do. also, what was up with the capital letters? sigh. dude, can we start over. or, does it not work like that. um. no we don't have to talk about not knowing each other--or anymore than we already have. i cant do this. blogging is not fun anymore.

why do we suck at this. though, it's sort of amusing as well? are all of our entries going to be joint like this. i think it makes it harder (and weird weird weird), making conversation that we know is going to have an audience. your turn.

what audience? it's just you, me, and the boy, perhaps, if he remembers this thing is here. but really, now, vicki, i want to say serious things. i want to tell them that we send ten one-line e-mails a day. that we're practically the same person! christ. nothing sounds the same once you blog it.

nothing sounds the same once you blog it. maybe we should give up? i think i should stop telling people you're my soul mate (i just told flora; only the second person!) because flora thinks we're weird. which, i mean. we are. i suppose. but i don't think about it anymore? i mean, i use your name in conversation with friends and assume they know who i'm talking about. (and they do. pretty much.)

honestly vicki, i think the soul mate thing makes it sound like we're dating.

but i like it better than alter ego. also! you said you would marry me! if i were a boy, that is. should we really publish this?

haha! i did say that (you asked me! [edit by vicki: you make it sound like i proposed! clarification. i asked if you would ever marry any of your friends, though perhaps the argument could be made that subconsciously.... anyway, why do i end up sounding like the desperate one?]), and i would! we should! we might not be too good married though, you know. if everything's the same, there's nothing to push you in new directions. like, vicki, we'd totally sit in the house all day and never meet new people, hang out only with each other and, maybe, four other people who talked to us first anyway, sought us out. read lots of poetry and probably coo, coo!, yes, those words sound nice together. talk about art, and books, and ourselves! oh, and lie outside on the porch with towels over our faces eating green grapes. it'd be great, of course, but i'm just saying.

i think that's enough for today.